This time i have to let go..let go the pain...the feelings that ive been trying to hide for several months...i have to let go this feelings so that i cud start my life trusting and loving again..Lately ive been trying so hard to act like there's nothing wrong..that iam numb for all the pain that ive been through...But as the days goes by.. i see myself slowly fading...my love turns to doubts...trusting turns to disappointment...i got eaten up by my insecurities... In evrything i do..i can't stop comparing myself to a person that he used to love...(i wish im correct for using USED)...i wish...his love for her is already gone...I can't hide the truth that im still hurting and afraid that time may come and he would realize that he is still have something for that "PAST"... and i'm still hoping that I' enough for HIM... That My LOVE wud be Enough....
HIs asking me everytime why can't i forget everything that had happen and give him another chance...give him trust that he won't commit the same mistakes again... Y can't i let him do things that he used to do and that is loving me completly,,, maybe because.. Im afraid that when i gave him that chance and believe that he would do things to fix everything,,, I'm afraid that if he fails that would be the time that we have to part ways... bcoz at that time...I would be completly destroyed... I don't want that to happen...that i would hate him so much..that i wish i never met him...
But now...I'm letting go...Letting go for those negative feelings i have here in me! I'm starting to believe that there is a chance for evryone... If he fails...then we fail...I should not push him to do things that cud hurt not just me...but both of us... For this past few days of being away from him...I realize that I'm still trap in my past... Ive already forgve him but still i can't forget it that's why my hurt won't end... But this things wont do me any GOOD because the cursed that is living in my soul wont let go,,, this is the reason why i don't get the happiness that i want...This time i gave my All and Trust GOD in my life,,, whatever plans that come our way...we have to face it... we have to face all the consqunces...TOGETHER.... I love him...and will continue loving him... My Love ,. My Life,. My Graceful Reality...:)
HIs asking me everytime why can't i forget everything that had happen and give him another chance...give him trust that he won't commit the same mistakes again... Y can't i let him do things that he used to do and that is loving me completly,,, maybe because.. Im afraid that when i gave him that chance and believe that he would do things to fix everything,,, I'm afraid that if he fails that would be the time that we have to part ways... bcoz at that time...I would be completly destroyed... I don't want that to happen...that i would hate him so much..that i wish i never met him...
But now...I'm letting go...Letting go for those negative feelings i have here in me! I'm starting to believe that there is a chance for evryone... If he fails...then we fail...I should not push him to do things that cud hurt not just me...but both of us... For this past few days of being away from him...I realize that I'm still trap in my past... Ive already forgve him but still i can't forget it that's why my hurt won't end... But this things wont do me any GOOD because the cursed that is living in my soul wont let go,,, this is the reason why i don't get the happiness that i want...This time i gave my All and Trust GOD in my life,,, whatever plans that come our way...we have to face it... we have to face all the consqunces...TOGETHER.... I love him...and will continue loving him... My Love ,. My Life,. My Graceful Reality...:)
1 comment:
haiz... ang buhay ni binibining maria gracia... hehehe:)
nga pala,, ala lang ang ganda ng word verification nung iyo ngaun, fuquines... hehehe
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